028: DefuseDivorce and Keeping Kids Out of the Middle with author Dr. Benjamin Garber, PhD

Keeping children’s best interests at the forefront in family courts should be a common goal, but unfortunately, they are often caught in litigious battles. Understanding the processes behind court proceedings can often smooth out the rough edges, and today’s guest specializes in advocating for kids and serving their needs.

 

On this episode of Children First Family Law, Krista welcomes Dr. Ben Garber, a superstar in the family law landscape around the globe. Based in New Hampshire, Dr. Garber is a licensed psychologist with decades of experience understanding and serving the needs of children, including authoring ten books on subjects in child and family development, divorce, and family law. He also handles various forensic evaluation roles, consultation, and expert testimony. First and foremost, Dr. Garber is a children’s advocate as a clinician, consulting expert, writer, and speaker. He is active in family law organizations throughout New England and the United States.

 

Krista and Dr. Garber begin their conversation by exploring Dr. Garber’s extensive body of work, including ten books. He shares the winding road he took to land in the family law niche and why it’s been so rewarding. You’ll hear how the dynamics of high-conflict families impact children, the benefits of a divorce without creating more harm to the children, and some examples of the solutions Dr. Garber’s site, DefuseDivorce.com, offers for parents and professionals. Dr. Garber outlines why “advance orientation” in a divorce scenario can improve outcomes for families, how parental anxiety hurts kids, and why information is the antidote to anxiety. Dr. Garber and Krista share some video clips from DefuseDivorce.com, and finally, they explain why consistency and being an anchor for your kids can create good outcomes for your children in a divorce.

 

Divorce is complex, and kids often get caught in the middle, but understanding the ins and outs of the process can help reduce anxiety on all sides. Don’t miss Dr. Ben Garber’s expert advice on handling divorce while keeping kids’ best interests at the forefront.

 

In this episode, you will hear:

• Dr. Garber’s vast body of work, including ten books
• Why Dr. Garber chose this particular career path
• The dynamics of high-conflict families and how they impact children
• Divorce can be done without so much harm to kids
• DefuseDivorce.com solutions for parents and professionals, 
• How “advance orientation” improves outcomes for families
• Parents’ anxiety hurts children, and the antidote to anxiety is information
• Examples of resources from DefuseDivorce.com: resist-refuse dynamics; orientation to parenting plan evaluations; how to produce a parenting plan
• Consistency is key – being an anchor for kids – to have good outcomes for children in divorce

Resources from this Episode

• www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
• Mending Fences: A Collaborative, Cognitive-Behavioral Reunification Protocol Serving the Best Interests of the Post-Divorce, Polarized Child: https://a.co/d/hfKNEl3
• Holding Tight-Letting Go: Raising Healthy Kids in AnxiousTimes: https://a.co/d/5XXmYBs
• The Family Law Professional's Field Guide to High-Conflict Litigation: Dynamics, Not Diagnoses: https://a.co/d/elmm71x
• Keeping Kids Out of the Middle: Child-Centered Parenting in the Midst of Conflict, Separation, and Divorce: https://a.co/d/4OBxU6m
• The Healthy Parent's ABC's: Healthy Parenting Made Clear and Easy-to-Read: https://a.co/d/hMKHhXP
• Taming the Beast Within: Managing Anger in Ourselves and Our Children Through Divorce (Healthy Parenting): https://a.co/d/j6irF4D
• The Roadmap to the Parenting Plan Worksheet: Putting Parenting Priorities in the Context of Research, Theory and Case Law: https://a.co/d/fbYB6PG
• Caught in the Middle: A Letter to My Divorced Parents (Healthy Parenting, 2): https://a.co/d/3g3p2pv
• Developmental Psychology for Family Law Professionals: Theory, Application and the Best Interests of the Child: https://a.co/d/6vzqPgS
• Twisted Allies: https://a.co/d/2DKVTbg

All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 

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