Children First Family Law - Transforming how families navigate the challenging landscape of divorce.

033: Co-Parenting with Respect: Creative Approaches with Jill Reiter and Dr. Shelley Bresnick

When couples split up, animosity and resentment can fester, leaving children caught in the middle.
On this episode of Children First Family Law, Krista welcomes Jill Reiter and Dr. Shelley Bresnick to discuss their program, Co-Parenting with Respect, a 10-session curriculum that brings children’s voices to the forefront and delicately facilitates parents learning to be the best possible co-parents. Shelley is a clinical psychologist who has worked with Colorado’s court-involved families for decades as a parental responsibilities evaluator, co-parent educator, and parenting plan consultant. She is also a therapist, working with children, adolescents, couples, and families. Jill is a licensed clinical social worker who received much of her early training with psychiatrists in child, adolescent, and adult inpatient psychiatric units. She has years of experience working with disrupted family systems through the public and private sectors. Jill maintains a private practice in Colorado, specializing in child, adolescent, and family therapy, including parent-child contact problems and parent coaching.
Krista, Jill, and Shelley begin their discussion by exploring the providers’ backgrounds and how they decided to partner to develop Co-Parenting with Respect. Jill and Shelley explain how they screen co-parents for the program, the positive impact on children when parents overcome dysfunctional co-parenting dynamics, and how they implement child voice sessions. Jill and Shelley outline the Co-Parenting with Respect curriculum, explain what situations and families the curriculum best serves, how they teach parents to communicate together, and share a couple of their favorite success stories of families who completed the program. Finally, the family law bar and in particular litigation-focused attorneys need to know about their role in the divorce process and the impact litigation focus has in harming families and coparenting outcomes
Reframing the co-parenting dynamic is a critical piece of the puzzle following divorce. Shelley and Jill are teaching parents how to communicate and interact so their children can flourish for years to come with both parents.
In this episode, you will hear:
Jill Reiter’s background in social work and discovery of a passion for work in the divorce and domestic relations realm
Dr. Shelley Bresnick’s entry into divorce work after completing her Ph.D.
The development of Jill and Dr. Bresnick’s Co-Parenting with Respect program
How they screen co-parents for their program, and the impact that domestic violence can have on the screening
Overcoming difficult co-parenting dynamics and the positive impact it can have on children
The goal of Child Voice Sessions and what makes them unique.
An outline of the Co-Parenting with Respect curriculum
Teaching parents how to communicate together, focusing on the children, and the shift that occurs when parents learn these skills
Jill and Shelley’s favorite family success stories from their program
The family dynamics best suited for the Co-Parenting with Respect program
Finding common ground with which parents can resonate and use to turn their relationship into a business-like relationship that is courteous and puts children first
What attorneys need to know about their role in the divorce process and the impact litigation focus has in harming families and coparenting outcomes
 
Resources from this Episode
www.coparentingwithrespect.com
Jill Reiter, LCSW, is offering the CPR program at the following location:   
750 E. 9th Ave Suite 104
Denver, CO 80203
Call or email: 720-810-9910 or jill@jillreiterlcswpllc.com
jillreiterlcswpllc.com
Shelley Bresnick, PsyD, PLLC, is offering CPR at the following location. 
710 Kipling Suite 103
Lakewood, CO 80215
Call or email: 303-601-4983 or shelleybresnick@gmail.com
shelleybresnickpsyd.com
www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 
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We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

032: Family Law Across Continents – A Global Peek at Australia, the US, Japan, Italy, Germany, & Others with Justice Altobelli

Courts worldwide handle divorce and children differently, and Australia’s system is one today’s guest knows well.
On today’s episode of Children First Family Law, Krista welcomes Justice Tom Altobelli, a family law judge from Sydney, Australia, who has served as a leader of international organizations focusing on doing divorce better. Justice Altobelli is a former professor at Western Sydney University and has been on the bench since 2006, rising to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia in 2020. In 2023, Justice Altobelli was appointed as a member of the Order of Australia in recognition of significant service to the law and legal education. He is also the author of many books and articles, focusing on children and the law.
Krista and Justice Altobelli’s conversation starts by highlighting his long career in family law, beginning with his experience as an attorney and then as a professor. Justice Altobelli outlines the court structure differences between the United States and Australia, the evidence rules Australia created for less adversarial court procedures, and dispute resolution rules that have changed since 2006. He explains Child Impact Reports that can aid in the dispute resolution process, the role of Independent Children’s Lawyers, and Australia’s unique process of triaging  families based on the circumstances of individual situations. Krista and Justice Altobelli discuss the oddities of the U.S. family court structure and Justice Altobelli’s work in understanding the effect that being caught in the divorce crossfire can have on children.
The structure of family courts may differ around the world, but Justice Altobelli underscores that people around the world seek to put children first and ensure they aren’t caught in their parents’ crossfire.
In this episode, you will hear:
Justice Altobelli’s background as a former professor at Western Sydney University and attorney in Australia and his experience on the bench as a family court judge since 2006
Court structure differences between the United States and Australia and other countries
Evidence rules in Australia that create far less adversarial court procedures
How these new rules have improved the speed and efficacy of family law cases
Dispute resolution rules before 2006, and the change in the importance of mediation
The focus on empowering, encouraging, and educating parents to settle cases about their children outside of a courtroom
The blending of all issues in the dispute resolution process and the Child Impact Reports that arise out of this process
Independent Children’s Lawyers and when they are assigned to a case
Triaging cases based on the individual circumstances of each one
The oddities of the U.S. family court structure and the influence of the emphasis on individual rights
Why children generally don’t come to court in Australia
Trends internationally in family law and the commonalities that countries often share
Justice Altobelli’s work in understanding the effect of children being caught in the divorce crossfire 
 The reality that fears persist from lawyers and judges regarding  loosening evidentiary rules in family law courts
 
Resources from this Episode
www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

031: How Do I Get My Child’s Voice Heard? Picking the Right Child Advocate in Child Custody Cases in Colorado

Parents often want their children’s voices to be heard during the divorce process. However, how that happens can vary greatly depending on the family’s situation.
On this episode of Children First Family Law, Krista explains the “best interests” standard in Colorado and what families can expect regarding their child’s voice being heard in court. She outlines the nine factors Colorado uses to determine parenting time allocation, including considerations of factors used in allocating decision-making in a no-fault divorce state. Krista shares specific situations, such as alcohol or drug abuse or domestic violence, that can elevate a child’s voice in these scenarios, the ideal scenario for parenting time versus what often occurs, and ways a therapist can be utilized in a divorce case. She defines the roles of Child and Family Investigators (CFIs) and Parental Responsibilities Evaluators (PREs), as well as the drawbacks of involving either of them in a case. Finally, Krista explains how you can benefit from a child’s best interests attorney (Child’s Legal Representative or “CLR”) to attempt to curate solutions alongside parents and professionals involved in your case while representing the best interests of the child as an attorney advocate who obtains and considers the child’s wishes
Divorce can be messy and traumatic for everyone involved. Keeping your child’s best interests at the forefront and hiring qualified professionals can make the process smoother, making it more manageable for everyone.
In this episode, you will hear:
The use of the “best interests” standard in Colorado
Ensuring a child’s voice is heard in the court while avoiding an adversarial approach to the other parent
Colorado’s implementation of nine factors to determine parenting time allocation, including:
Parents’ wishes
Child’s wishes
The relationship between the child and parents, siblings, and any other person who significantly affects the child's best interests
The child’s adjustment to home, school, and community
The mental and physical health of everyone involved
The parties’ ability to encourage the sharing of love, affection, and contact between the child and the other parent
Whether the parties’ past involvement shows a system of values, time commitment, and mutual support
How far apart the parties live
The ability of each party to place the needs of the child ahead of their own needs
How no-fault divorce impacts considerations of parenting time and decision-making
Alcohol abuse, drug abuse, and domestic violence, and Colorado’s statute that indicates a child’s voice should have strong consideration in these situations
The ideal scenario for parenting time versus what often occurs
A movement in Colorado toward children over 12 years old to become more actively involved in court proceedings and hearings in the dependency and neglect courts but not so much in domestic/divorce courts
Ways a therapist can be used in court proceedings
Bringing in witnesses to testify to what’s best for the child
The role of Child and Family Investigators (CFIs) in Colorado, their requirements, their cost, and how they can impact the parenting dynamic
The role of Parental Responsibilities Evaluators (PREs), who can do everything a CFI can, plus do deeper analysis including psychological testing of parents
The downsides of bringing in CFIs and PREs
The benefits of a child's best interest attorney or Child Legal Representative (CLR), who they represent, the requirements they must meet, what they can and cannot do, and what they cost
A CLR’s ability to curate the right people to work with the parties involved in the case
When you should pursue a child advocate and why you shouldn’t wait too long
Resources from this Episode
www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

030: Incremental Trust Building for Co-Parents: A Challenge from International Expert Dr. Michael Saini

Co-parents often find themselves at a stalemate with one parent distrustful of the other. Trust can be rebuilt, and returning guest Dr. Michael Saini has some tips on how to do it.
On today’s episode of Children First Family Law, Krista welcomes back Dr. Saini, a Toronto-based renowned psychologist who has authored more than 200 publications, including book chapters, government reports, systematic reviews, and a vast number of peer-reviewed journal articles highlighting research in the area of family law and its impact on children. Dr. Saini is a passionate advocate for children’s rights.
Krista and Dr. Saini begin their conversation by explaining the importance of establishing boundaries around trust and repairing trust violations in the context of a divorce situation. Dr. Saini outlines the research on trust as the number one dynamic for co-parenting success, emphasizing the importance of accepting who your co-parent is and building trust despite any disputes you may have with them. He shares why coming to terms with “good enough” parenting can be helpful, how the erosion of trust can lead to additional conflicts as co-parents, and why the conflict is worse for your kids than getting your way in the fight you’re having with your co-parent. You’ll hear Dr. Saini’s method of using mini goals to rebuild trust with your co-parent, the foundation childhood creates for trusting or distrusting in future relationships, the importance of exposing kids to new romantic partners carefully, and learning to become comfortable with your new roles post-divorce. Finally, Krista and Dr. Saini explain when trust-building models aren’t appropriate and how to figure out what each parent is willing to do to demonstrate their trustworthiness.
Trust is a complex and significant topic in divorce, and Dr. Michael Saini’s tips can help you rebuild trust with your co-parent and foster a healthy relationship for your children, thereby breaking intergenerational conflict tendencies.
In this episode, you will hear:
Building boundaries around trust and repairing trust violations
Research about trust being the number one dynamic for co-parenting success
Dr. Michael Saini’s take on viewing trust as a bank account with a positive or negative balance based on experiences
The importance of coming to a place of acceptance of your co-parent, thinking beyond the dispute, and building trust
“Good enough” parenting and not placing your standards on the other parent
Why emotional processing is like an iceberg, because we only see a small portion of it
How erosion of trust leads to additional conflict in co-parenting
For your kids, the impact of the conflict is far more harmful than who 'wins' the argument.
Anger and fear as secondary emotions to fear
Using mini goals to rebuild trust
Childhood is the foundation for trusting or distrusting future relationships
When conflict is modeled poorly over generations,kids can repeat the same unhealthy patterns rather than learning how to resolve them
Exposing kids to new romantic partners very carefully
Boundary ambiguity post-divorce and becoming comfortable with new roles
When the trust-building models are not appropriate, especially considering the dynamics of violence
What each parent is willing to do to demonstrate trustworthiness
Resources from this Episode
www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
Dickie 2015 Trust and Conflict Resolution - http://childrenfirstfamilylaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Dickie-2015-Trust-and-Conflict-Resolution.pdf
Saini 2025 Trust in AFCC CA Handouts2PP - http://childrenfirstfamilylaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Saini-2025-Trust-in-AFCC-CA-Handouts2PP.pdf
All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

029: Healing the Hurt: Supporting Kids & Co-Parents Through Divorce with Mental Health Professional Lauren Blake

Divorce brings many challenges to families going through a divorce, and involving a mental health professional can make all the difference in their outcomes on the other side of the divorce.
On this episode of Children First Family Law, Krista sits down with Lauren Blake, owner and founder of Michigan-based Blake Family Consulting. Lauren is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a decade of experience working in family law with highly litigious families. Her practice focuses on providing trauma-informed collaborative care to high-conflict families.
Krista and Lauren start their conversation by exploring Lauren’s career path from family law paralegal to a mental health provider. Lauren outlines the mental health challenges that often accompany divorce, the overuse of terminology like “parental alienation,” and Lauren’s childhood experience with alienation and divorce. She shares the therapeutic resources now available to families, what divorcing couples need to know about the role of attorneys, and why these couples should consider individual therapy as well as co-parenting therapy. You’ll hear how anticipatory anxiety can impact kids required to see the disfavored parent, when “no contact” with a parent is necessary, and the various roles outside of mental health professional Lauren often takes on.
Lauren Blake is uniquely positioned to understand the needs of both children and adults in high-conflict divorce situations, and she shares her tips for successfully navigating them.
In this episode, you will hear:
Lauren Blake’s journey from family law paralegal to mental health provider
The mental health challenges that often accompany divorce
The nuances surrounding “parental alienation”
Lauren’s personal story of alienation, including not knowing her father and the dynamics of her parents’ divorce
How she uses her personal story to help others going through divorce
Signs of parental alienation
Therapeutic resources available today that didn’t exist when Lauren navigated her parents’ divorce
How therapists can, and often should, testify in parental alienation cases
What couples considering divorce should know about the role of attorneys
The importance of “uncoupling” to be good co-parents
Why divorcing parents should consider both individual therapy and co-parenting therapy
The challenge of anticipatory anxiety for children seeing the disfavored parents
When “no contact” is warranted, including child abuse or sexual abuse
Pacing therapy well and not rushing kids, but knowing when a push is necessary
The role of attorneys in speaking truth to their clients
Various other roles Lauren sometimes takes on, including Guardian ad Litem
Re-establishing relationships post-divorce and how to frame therapy correctly for the best success
Resources from this Episode
www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
www.blakefamilyconsulting.com
All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

028: DefuseDivorce and Keeping Kids Out of the Middle with author Dr. Benjamin Garber, PhD

Keeping children’s best interests at the forefront in family courts should be a common goal, but unfortunately, they are often caught in litigious battles. Understanding the processes behind court proceedings can often smooth out the rough edges, and today’s guest specializes in advocating for kids and serving their needs.
 
On this episode of Children First Family Law, Krista welcomes Dr. Ben Garber, a superstar in the family law landscape around the globe. Based in New Hampshire, Dr. Garber is a licensed psychologist with decades of experience understanding and serving the needs of children, including authoring ten books on subjects in child and family development, divorce, and family law. He also handles various forensic evaluation roles, consultation, and expert testimony. First and foremost, Dr. Garber is a children’s advocate as a clinician, consulting expert, writer, and speaker. He is active in family law organizations throughout New England and the United States.
 
Krista and Dr. Garber begin their conversation by exploring Dr. Garber’s extensive body of work, including ten books. He shares the winding road he took to land in the family law niche and why it’s been so rewarding. You’ll hear how the dynamics of high-conflict families impact children, the benefits of a divorce without creating more harm to the children, and some examples of the solutions Dr. Garber’s site, DefuseDivorce.com, offers for parents and professionals. Dr. Garber outlines why “advance orientation” in a divorce scenario can improve outcomes for families, how parental anxiety hurts kids, and why information is the antidote to anxiety. Dr. Garber and Krista share some video clips from DefuseDivorce.com, and finally, they explain why consistency and being an anchor for your kids can create good outcomes for your children in a divorce.
 
Divorce is complex, and kids often get caught in the middle, but understanding the ins and outs of the process can help reduce anxiety on all sides. Don’t miss Dr. Ben Garber’s expert advice on handling divorce while keeping kids’ best interests at the forefront.
 
In this episode, you will hear:
Dr. Garber’s vast body of work, including ten books
Why Dr. Garber chose this particular career path
The dynamics of high-conflict families and how they impact children
Divorce can be done without so much harm to kids
DefuseDivorce.com solutions for parents and professionals, 
How “advance orientation” improves outcomes for families
Parents’ anxiety hurts children, and the antidote to anxiety is information
Examples of resources from DefuseDivorce.com: resist-refuse dynamics; orientation to parenting plan evaluations; how to produce a parenting plan
Consistency is key – being an anchor for kids – to have good outcomes for children in divorce
Resources from this Episode
www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
Mending Fences: A Collaborative, Cognitive-Behavioral Reunification Protocol Serving the Best Interests of the Post-Divorce, Polarized Child: https://a.co/d/hfKNEl3
Holding Tight-Letting Go: Raising Healthy Kids in AnxiousTimes: https://a.co/d/5XXmYBs
The Family Law Professional's Field Guide to High-Conflict Litigation: Dynamics, Not Diagnoses: https://a.co/d/elmm71x
Keeping Kids Out of the Middle: Child-Centered Parenting in the Midst of Conflict, Separation, and Divorce: https://a.co/d/4OBxU6m
The Healthy Parent's ABC's: Healthy Parenting Made Clear and Easy-to-Read: https://a.co/d/hMKHhXP
Taming the Beast Within: Managing Anger in Ourselves and Our Children Through Divorce (Healthy Parenting): https://a.co/d/j6irF4D
The Roadmap to the Parenting Plan Worksheet: Putting Parenting Priorities in the Context of Research, Theory and Case Law: https://a.co/d/fbYB6PG
Caught in the Middle: A Letter to My Divorced Parents (Healthy Parenting, 2): https://a.co/d/3g3p2pv
Developmental Psychology for Family Law Professionals: Theory, Application and the Best Interests of the Child: https://a.co/d/6vzqPgS
Twisted Allies: https://a.co/d/2DKVTbg
All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

027: Settling For Success: Resolving Disputes with Wisdom from the Honorable Michael Hegarty

Dispute resolution is a talent, and those gifted with this talent are adept at reaching out to both parties during conflict resolution to reach an acceptable conclusion.
On this episode of Children First Family Law, Krista welcomes the Honorable Michael E. Hegarty, long-time attorney, litigator, and a retired federal judge from the U.S. District Court for the District of Colorado. Judge Hegarty served 19 years on the bench before retiring in January 2025. He now does private mediation/arbitration through JAMS, the world’s largest private alternative dispute resolution provider. Judge Hegarty was Krista’s first boss following law school; she served full-time as his law clerk, working alongside him, and learning the art of alternative dispute resolution (“ADR”).  In the magistrate judge role, Judge Hegarty had the unique authority at U.S. District Court to lead more than 1,00 settlement conferences, resolving almost all of them, including high-profile cases such as one of the civil cases of the Aurora “Batman” movie theater massacre.
Krista and Judge Hegarty explore his entry into the legal field at an international law firm, his rise to chief of the civil division at the U.S. Attorney’s Office, and his appointment to the bench as a federal magistrate judge. Judge Hegarty recently retired and shares his new role as a dispute resolution provider with JAMS, his reflections on why he has so much success at ADR, and his insights into the power of settlement to create better solutions for families. Krista and Judge Hegarty share some stories of peaceful resolutions in actual cases, how brokered agreements can lead to solutions unavailable in courts, and why the need for ongoing relationships in divorce cases requires careful handling
Judge Hegarty’s long record of successful dispute resolution is impressive, and his strategies for ADR can help attorneys and families find common ground that leads to resolutions that are best for children and their parents.
In this episode, you will hear:
Krista’s work with Judge Hegarty as first his intern and later his law clerk at the U.S. District Court as her first job out of law school
Judge Hegarty’s background from working at an international law firm to rising to chief of the civil division at the U.S. Attorney’s Office and then to his appointment to the bench for years of service as a judge
Judge Hegarty’s recent retirement and new role at JAMS, the world’s largest private alternative dispute resolution (ADR) provider where many of the best judges go to continue to help resolve conflict for parties after retirement from the bench
His reflections on why he has such success at ADR, what approaches work best, and how relational attunement can lead to agreements
Judge Hegarty’s insights as to how settlement often has the power to create better solutions for families
Judge Hegarty mediated the civil settlements in the Aurora theater shooting case, with Krista assisting as his law clerk in resolving claims and providing closure to victims' families.
How brokered agreements leave outcomes in the hands of parties and offer solutions not available in court, such as apologies and other non-monetary wins
ADR’s benefits for people divorcing so that ongoing coparenting relationships can be preserved
Attorneys’ obligation to advocate for their clients as well as families
Resources from this Episode
www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
https://www.jamsadr.com/hegarty/
All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

026: Science-Based Solutions For Co-Parenting Through Divorce with Dr. Karey O'Hara

Science offers us some intriguing perspectives on divorce’s impact on children. Today’s guest is using science to better understand and support parents and kids through the complexities of the experiences of loss.
 
On this episode of Children First Family Law, Krista welcomes Dr. Karey O’Hara, a psychologist and assistant research professor at Arizona State University with a focus on navigating the intersection between family law and psychology. Dr. O’Hara’s work mainly focuses on how parents and children cope and adapt when exposed to significant disruptions like death and divorce. She is studying the science of how to evaluate and gauge this impact and provide solutions that can be put into practice. Dr. O’Hara’s research is always paired with active collaboration with courts or other community programs to ensure her research is tested and disseminated to real people to create real change for parents and kids. She has much to teach us in the area of risk and resilience factors associated with children’s coping and adjustment following divorce, informing family court policy, and improving interventions to promote the well-being of court-involved families.
 
During Krista’s conversation with Dr. O’Hara, you’ll hear about parents’ powerful influence on their children, why it is critical to validate emotions during a divorce process, and the impact high-quality parenting – including love – can have on children’s outcomes. Dr. O’Hara shares the three components of high-quality parenting, what science can teach us about interventions in the real world to help children fare better in divorce, and her research program that provides insight into understanding behavior and emotion under stress. She outlines her work in programs for parents and kids, including Project Brain Team, which promotes mental health and coping strategies and skills in divorce. Finally, Krista and Dr. O’Hara discuss lessons from science about the human and emotional experience of divorce and co-parenting dynamics and their influence on children. They share why there is hope for kids even after divorce and that those outcomes are in the hands of their parents.
 
Divorce is often complicated and messy, and handling those emotions can be difficult for everyone involved. However, Dr. O’Hara’s research reinforces that finding solutions that work for everyone is possible and offers some tips for reducing the tension.
 
In this episode, you will hear:
 
Dr. Karey O’Hara’s path to her work in family law and clinical psychology focused on children and families
The powerful influence parents have on their children
The risk of labels like “parental alienation” and their limited helpfulness for parents and children
Validating someone’s emotions, which can bring down the emotional temperature
Protective factors of parents in helping themselves and their children deal with stress
The impact of high-quality parenting (including love) on children’s outcomes
How high-quality parenting includes love, appropriate limits, and discipline
Risk factors for children and parents under stress
What science can teach us about interventions in the real world to help children fare better in divorce
Dr. O’Hara’s research program insights into understanding behavior and emotion under stress and then translating that science into ways to deliver real solutions to actual people
Her work in programs for parents and kids, including Project Brain Team, promoting  mental health and coping strategies and skills in divorce
Lessons from science about the human, emotional experience of divorce and co-parenting dynamics and their influence on children
Why there can be hope for children even after divorce
The power of outcomes for kids is in the hands of their parents
Resources from this Episode
www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
Dr. Karey O’Hara: search.asu.edu/profile/3192762
Project Brain Team: sites.google.com/asu.edu/asu-projectbrainteam?usp=sharing
Patterns of intimate partner violence in a large, epidemiological sample of divorcing couples.
Coping in context: The effects of long-term relations between interparental conflict and coping on the development of child psychopathology following parental divorce
Does Shared Parenting Help or Hurt Children in High-Conflict Divorced Families?: Journal of Divorce & Remarriage: Vol 59, No 4
Validation of a Measure of Intimate Partner Abuse With Couples Participating in Divorce Mediation: Journal of Divorce & Remarriage: Vol 50, No 5
Adolescent-to-Parent Violence: Translating Research into Effective Practice | Adolescent Research Review
Parenting time, parenting quality, interparental conflict, and mental health problems of children in high-conflict divorce.
Psychological and Biological Processes in Children Associated with High Conflict Parental Divorce - Davidson - 2014 - Juvenile and Family Court Journal - Wiley Online Library
Evaluating Parenting Coordination Programs: Encouraging Results From Pilot Testing a Research Methodology: Journal of Child Custody: Vol 8, No 4
Longitudinal Effects of PostDivorce Interparental Conflict on Children’s Mental Health Problems Through Fear of Abandonment: Does Parenting Quality Play a Buffering Role? - O’Hara - 2021 - Child Development - Wiley Online Library
Contact With an Ex-Partner Is Associated With Psychological Distress After Marital Separation - Karey L. O’Hara, Austin M. Grinberg, Allison M. Tackman, Matthias R. Mehl, David A. Sbarra, 2020
Multidisciplinary partnership: Targeting aggression and mental health problems of adolescents in detention.
Human-centered design methods to achieve preparation phase goals in the multiphase optimization strategy framework - Karey L. O’Hara, Lindsey M. Knowles, Kate Guastaferro, Aaron R. Lyon, 2022
Understanding the perception of stakeholders in reducing adolescent-to-parent violence/aggression - ScienceDirect
The Development, Evaluation, and Implementation of Parenting‐Focused Prevention Programs in Collaboration with Family Court - O'Hara - 2021 - Family Court Review - Wiley Online Library
Measurement invariance across sexes in intimate partner abuse research.
Self-Compassion for Caregivers of Children in Parentally Bereaved Families: A Theoretical Model and Intervention Example | Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review
Enhancing the Focus: How Does Parental Incarceration Fit into the Overall Picture of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs)? | Research on Child and Adolescent Psychopathology
The Prospective Effects of Caregiver Parenting on Behavioral Health Outcomes for Children with Incarcerated Parents: a Family Resilience Perspective | Prevention Science
Interparental conflict and adolescent emotional security across family structures - O'Hara - 2024 - Family Process - Wiley Online Library
Enhancing daily affect in youth experiencing high‐conflict parental divorce: A multiple baseline trial of an online prevention program - O′Hara - 2022 - Family Court Review - Wiley Online Library
All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

025: “Family” Restructuring Post-Divorce with Dr. Premela Deck

When a divorce or separation occurs, despite the complicated emotions that accompany it, a family remains a family.
 
On this episode of Children First Family Law, Krista sits down with Dr. Premela Deck, a Boston-area family law attorney and forensic social worker with a Ph.D. in her field who is creating innovative solutions to integrate law and social work to help children and parents navigate conflict amid family law disputes. As an attorney, Dr. Deck is a family law litigator, mediator, parenting coordinator, and guardian ad litem. As a mental health professional, she primarily serves as a custody evaluator, parenting coach, and therapist for high-conflict families, couples, or individuals caught up in family situations. She also has a unique practice that allows for deep coparenting and therapeutic intervention to help improve outcomes for kids and parents going through divorce.
 
During their conversation, Krista and Dr. Deck explore the important work Dr. Deck is doing in her practice. She shares what her early work for the city of Boston taught her about mental health considerations in court settings, leading her into social work/law integration. You’ll hear the unwillingness professionals often have to work in forensic mental health and the difficulties faced when trying to limit therapeutic options to those covered by health insurance as they require a diagnosis that often is not possible or warranted.. Dr. Deck explains the difference in language attorneys and mental health professionals use and the importance of bridging that gap for families. You’ll hear about therapeutic jurisprudence and reforming the law based on understanding mental health, Dr. Deck’s unique practice of blending law and mental health resources, and the nationally available programs she uses to help with high-conflict co-parenting. Finally, Krista and Dr. Deck discuss building a foundation of respect between co-parents, the nuanced approach Dr. Deck recommends for parent-child contact problems, and the importance of handling conflict in a healthy way for the benefit of children.
 
Creating a healthy co-parenting dynamic is possible, but it requires work from both parties. Dr. Premela Deck lays out her unique methodology to help parents find common ground for the benefit of their children.
 
In this episode, you will hear:
 
Dr. Premela Deck’s law and social work background and how she ultimately pulled the two disciplines together with her Ph.D. and now with her unique practice with options available across state lines
The need for mental health considerations in family court, similar to what Dr. Deck saw in her early work condemning homes of hoarders
Realizing these legal challenges need delicate care that considers the mental health of individuals, leading her into social work/law integration
The serious challenge of so few mental health professionals going into the area of helping families embroiled in family court conflict
The limitations of seeking only  insurance-covered mental health options in family law dynamics
Language differences between attorneys and mental health professionals and the need for a bridge between disciplines to help families
The concept of therapeutic jurisprudence and reforming the law by understanding mental health
Dr. Deck’s unique practice that blends law and mental health resources, including multi-faceted family therapy, group and private parent coaching, and co-parenting restructuring
Nationally available programs offered by Dr. Deck to help with high-conflict coparenting
The importance of a foundation of respect when parents begin this therapeutic work
Taking a nuanced approach to parent-child contact problems and Dr. Deck’s steps for this process
Dr. Deck’s model for this type of practice
The risk to children when parents fight and have poor co-parenting dynamics
Handling conflict in a healthy manner for the benefit of the children
Grasping that there is a duality in cases and ensuring goals are working in tandem
Dr. Deck’s postdoc program with a focus on family law dynamics, which is the only one of its kind in the country
 
Resources from this Episode
sdfsmass.com
sdfsmass.com/blog
www.premeladeck.com
www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

024: The Benefits of Full-Service Amicable Uncontested Divorce Mediation. How to Save Money, Reduce Stress, and Prioritize Your Family’s Emotional Health During Divorce

It’s no secret that separations and divorces can be stressful, costly, and emotionally exhausting, and finding a solution that works for both parties involved and the children can feel impossible.
On this episode of Children First Family Law, Krista outlines the options available to those seeking a divorce or separation, particularly in Colorado. The choices individuals make in this situation have implications, and Krista shares the potential pitfalls and considerations of each one. These options include handling the separation or divorce without an attorney, hiring an attorney (or two–one for each party), coaching services, mediation, and arbitration. She explains each one’s advantages and disadvantages. Krista offers a unique final solution she developed called an Amicable Uncontested Divorce Solution, in which she works with both co-parents to create customized solutions for their particular scenario. Finally, Krista shares the importance of preserving the co-parenting dynamic to reduce trauma for the involved children. She reveals the 13 steps she uses to determine if a potential client is a good candidate for this solution.
There is a path to a more peaceful separation of co-parents than attorneys on both sides ready for war. Krista’s Amicable Uncontested Divorce Solutions offer the answer you’ve been searching for.
In this episode, you will hear:
The implications of the choices the involved parties make during a divorce or legal separation
Handling a separation or divorce in Colorado without an attorney and potential pitfalls and considerations
Hiring an attorney to handle your case, what to be aware of as you research who to hire, and when you can use one attorney versus two
The importance of prioritizing children during separation—and why many attorneys fail to do so
Investing in a coaching service and key factors to consider when evaluating your options
Krista’s tips for evaluating a mediator to handle a divorce or separation
The pitfalls of mediation and how it can derail a case.
Arbitration’s advantages and disadvantages as an option for handling a divorce or separation
Amicable, Uncontested Divorce Solutions at Children First Family Law tailors benefits for both co-parents seeking customized resolutions.
Minimizing trauma for children while preserving a healthy co-parenting dynamic.
Krista’s 13-step approach to achieving an amicable, uncontested divorce.
Resources from this Episode
www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.