Children First Family Law - Transforming how families navigate the challenging landscape of divorce.

070: BIFF Communication for Co-Parents with Bill Eddy: International Author and Expert on Coparenting Communication

In this episode of the Children First Family Law Podcast, Krista is joined by Bill Eddy, co-founder of the High Conflict Institute and author of BIFF for Co-Parent Communication. They dive into one of the biggest challenges in family law cases: how parents communicate during conflict. Whether tensions show up around parenting time and decision making, medical issues, school events, or simple schedule changes, the way we respond can either calm the situation—or inflame it.
Bill walks through the BIFF method—Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm—and explains why managing your own communication is often the fastest way to reduce conflict. He also explores why some parents get stuck in anger and how that spills over onto children.
If you want practical tools to protect your kids and bring more stability to co-parent communication, this conversation is for you.
In this episode, you will hear:
What BIFF means and why Brief Informative Friendly Firm responses reduce conflict
How to respond to hostile emails without escalating parenting time and decision making disputes
The 10-question checklist before hitting send
Turning an inflammatory message into a focused BIFF response
Why unmanaged anger and blame keep parents stuck in high conflict
How one parent changing their communication can shift the dynamic
Practical tools from the High Conflict Institute for calmer co-parent exchanges
Resources from this Episode
Websites:https://www.conflictinfluencer.com/co-parentinghttps://www.highconflictinstitute.com/
Many BIFF books:Coparent communication – https://www.amazon.com/BIFF-Co-Parent-Communication-Difficult-Conflict/dp/1950057100/ref=sr_1_3?crid=QKXMIO5UFGIN&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.d-iPiyrt8sAIpAtmKgrvqxqasiVMj2Y1668V1sdm9p9RIRwALrUb2WI2HrCFeWl5O0SYll50CInBtJt_tm0cXApce2CyUYZgQUiPhPZkUrFDg5Mzir9v0Ie5s_WMz5BMsMrWB4FhgxiDhZu41VDYx2MeMu7xYT41D6g-v8mii_S_fCS66goO4BGFK_ma2rUnd2gm4_f8xIoCe0V-3d4ytpaE4n1HxUyhqYssMM0DI1U.ZtNwku4cjDzPxx-yIYT8yi6THUImqBZ4qGOyVOCJ_7E&dib_tag=se&keywords=BIFF+books&qid=1770684270&sprefix=biff+boo%2Caps%2C214&sr=8-3High conflict personality responses – https://www.amazon.com/BIFF-Responses-High-Conflict-Personal-Meltdowns/dp/1936268728/ref=sr_1_2?crid=QKXMIO5UFGIN&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.d-iPiyrt8sAIpAtmKgrvqxqasiVMj2Y1668V1sdm9p9RIRwALrUb2WI2HrCFeWl5O0SYll50CInBtJt_tm0cXApce2CyUYZgQUiPhPZkUrFDg5Mzir9v0Ie5s_WMz5BMsMrWB4FhgxiDhZu41VDYx2MeMu7xYT41D6g-v8mii_S_fCS66goO4BGFK_ma2rUnd2gm4_f8xIoCe0V-3d4ytpaE4n1HxUyhqYssMM0DI1U.ZtNwku4cjDzPxx-yIYT8yi6THUImqBZ4qGOyVOCJ_7E&dib_tag=se&keywords=BIFF+books&qid=1770684270&sprefix=biff+boo%2Caps%2C214&sr=8-2Work –https://www.amazon.com/BIFF-Work-Difficult-Workplace-Communication/dp/1950057127/ref=sr_1_4?crid=QKXMIO5UFGIN&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.d-iPiyrt8sAIpAtmKgrvqxqasiVMj2Y1668V1sdm9p9RIRwALrUb2WI2HrCFeWl5O0SYll50CInBtJt_tm0cXApce2CyUYZgQUiPhPZkUrFDg5Mzir9v0Ie5s_WMz5BMsMrWB4FhgxiDhZu41VDYx2MeMu7xYT41D6g-v8mii_S_fCS66goO4BGFK_ma2rUnd2gm4_f8xIoCe0V-3d4ytpaE4n1HxUyhqYssMM0DI1U.ZtNwku4cjDzPxx-yIYT8yi6THUImqBZ4qGOyVOCJ_7E&dib_tag=se&keywords=BIFF+books&qid=1770684270&sprefix=biff+boo%2Caps%2C214&sr=8-4Lawyers & Law Firms:https://www.amazon.com/BIFF-Lawyers-Law-Offices-Communication/dp/1950057399/ref=sr_1_6?crid=QKXMIO5UFGIN&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.d-iPiyrt8sAIpAtmKgrvqxqasiVMj2Y1668V1sdm9p9RIRwALrUb2WI2HrCFeWl5O0SYll50CInBtJt_tm0cXApce2CyUYZgQUiPhPZkUrFDg5Mzir9v0Ie5s_WMz5BMsMrWB4FhgxiDhZu41VDYx2MeMu7xYT41D6g-v8mii_S_fCS66goO4BGFK_ma2rUnd2gm4_f8xIoCe0V-3d4ytpaE4n1HxUyhqYssMM0DI1U.ZtNwku4cjDzPxx-yIYT8yi6THUImqBZ4qGOyVOCJ_7E&dib_tag=se&keywords=BIFF+books&qid=1770684270&sprefix=biff+boo%2Caps%2C214&sr=8-6
www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 
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Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

069: The Benefits of Full-Service Amicable Uncontested Divorce Mediation. How to Save Money, Reduce Stress, and Prioritize Your Family’s Emotional Health During Divorce

It’s no secret that separations and divorces can be stressful, costly, and emotionally exhausting, and finding a solution that works for both parties involved and the children can feel impossible.
On this episode of Children First Family Law, Krista outlines the options available to those seeking a divorce or separation, particularly in Colorado. The choices individuals make in this situation have implications, and Krista shares the potential pitfalls and considerations of each one. These options include handling the separation or divorce without an attorney, hiring an attorney (or two–one for each party), coaching services, mediation, and arbitration. She explains each one’s advantages and disadvantages. Krista offers a unique final solution she developed called an Amicable Uncontested Divorce Solution, in which she works with both co-parents to create customized solutions for their particular scenario. Finally, Krista shares the importance of preserving the co-parenting dynamic to reduce trauma for the involved children. She reveals the 13 steps she uses to determine if a potential client is a good candidate for this solution.
There is a path to a more peaceful separation of co-parents than attorneys on both sides ready for war. Krista’s Amicable Uncontested Divorce Solutions offer the answer you’ve been searching for.
In this episode, you will hear:
The implications of the choices the involved parties make during a divorce or legal separation
Handling a separation or divorce in Colorado without an attorney and potential pitfalls and considerations
Hiring an attorney to handle your case, what to be aware of as you research who to hire, and when you can use one attorney versus two
The importance of prioritizing children during separation—and why many attorneys fail to do so
Investing in a coaching service and key factors to consider when evaluating your options
Krista’s tips for evaluating a mediator to handle a divorce or separation
The pitfalls of mediation and how it can derail a case.
Arbitration’s advantages and disadvantages as an option for handling a divorce or separation
Amicable, Uncontested Divorce Solutions at Children First Family Law tailors benefits for both co-parents seeking customized resolutions.
Minimizing trauma for children while preserving a healthy co-parenting dynamic.
Krista’s 13-step approach to achieving an amicable, uncontested divorce.
 
Resources from this Episode
www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

068: Colorado Family Law: Understanding the Role of a CLR in Custody and Parenting Cases

In this solo episode of the Children First Family Law podcast, Krista, a Colorado-based family law attorney and child advocate, breaks down her structured approach to serving as a Child’s Legal Representative (CLR) in high-conflict divorce and custody cases across the state.
Krista shares her 11-step process for advocating on behalf of children during some of the most complex and emotionally charged family law matters. Drawing on her experience practicing throughout Denver, Boulder, Fort Collins, and Colorado Springs, she guides listeners through the process of how CLRs are appointed, their interactions with families, and how they contribute to shaping child-centered solutions both inside and outside the courtroom.
From initial appointments and home visits to therapeutic collaboration and final court engagement, Krista explains how an active, negotiation-based model empowers children to have a voice while protecting their well-being. She also compares the CLR role to other evaluative processes used in Colorado family courts, including CFIs and PREs, highlighting the benefits of real-time engagement and ongoing problem-solving.
For parents, attorneys, and professionals working in Colorado family law, this episode offers a clear and practical guide to what it means to truly represent the best interests of the child, with a process that’s informed, intentional, and deeply rooted in trauma-aware advocacy.
In this episode, you will hear:
 
How courts appoint a Child’s Legal Representative (CLR) in Colorado
Why earlier CLR involvement can lead to better outcomes for families
A detailed look at Krista’s 11-step CLR process, from start to finish
The value of active negotiation over passive observation in high-conflict parenting cases
The difference between a CLR and roles like CFIs or parenting evaluators
Strategies to support children’s voices in parenting time disputes
How Colorado-specific forms (JDF 1319/1320) initiate the CLR appointment process
 
Resources from this Episode
www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

067: Best Hits from the Archives: Top 10 Things to Do (and Don't Do) When Hiring a Divorce Attorney

Hiring the right attorney in a divorce case involving children can make or break your case. If you hire the wrong one, they could be a big problem.
In this replay episode of Children First Family Law, Krista offers the 10 dos and don’ts of hiring a divorce attorney. A good attorney should be a peacemaker, not a gladiator, which can foster the destruction of children’s well-being, parents, and individual parties. Toxicity generally isn’t necessary, even in potentially adversarial cases.
Finding amicable solutions for children's best interests is at the heart of this episode. Using Krista’s tips for finding a good divorce attorney, you could avoid a litigious, expensive, and destructive road.
In this episode, you will hear:
The importance of hiring an attorney who is empathetic, warm, likable, and ethical
Krista’s tips for testing the accessibility and responsiveness of an attorney and their team
Ensuring your attorney will be clear and transparent about each step of the process as well as costs
How hiring someone who simplifies the process can save you a lot of money
Why humility is a valuable trait in an attorney
Reputability and its importance in the law community and red flags to consider
The value of an informed individual who is pursuing growth of knowledge and experience
The calming effect of a peacemaker in your corner
What a child-focused attorney can do for you versus one who isn’t
Problem-solving and finding the best solution for all involved parties
Resources from this Episode
www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

066: Divorce Done Well: A Child's Story, with Special Guest, Liberty

In this episode of Children First Family Law®️, Krista sits down with Liberty, a 21-year-old who grew up navigating her parents’ divorce in a way many families hope for but rarely see. Liberty shares what it felt like to be told about the divorce as a sixth grader, how her parents’ intentional co-parenting kept her out of the middle, and why clear structure and communication mattered more than she realized at the time.
Liberty reflects on growing up in two homes without conflict, watching her parents show up together for milestones, and later welcoming stepparents and stepsiblings into her life. Her story offers a rare, honest look at how divorce can reshape a family without breaking it.
This conversation is a powerful reminder that when adults truly put children first, kids can grow up feeling secure, supported, and hopeful.
In this episode, you will hear:
Being told about divorce together and why that moment mattered
Growing up without being put in the middle of parental conflict
How structure and predictable parenting schedules created stability
Parents communicating directly instead of through their child
Navigating new partners and blended families without pressure
The difference between a “broken” home and a restructured one
How healthy co-parenting shaped long-term trust and relationships
 
Resources from this Episode
www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

065: New Year, Same Kids: 10 Resolutions Divorced Parents Can Make to Truly Help Their Children

In this solo episode of Children First Family Law®️, Krista shares 10 practical resolutions for divorced and separated parents to make the new year—or any time of year—supportive for their children.
Recognizing that most parents genuinely want the best for their kids but often feel overwhelmed, hurt, or reactive, Krista emphasizes that children feel the effects of parental conflict even when no words are spoken. These resolutions are not about perfection. They are about intentional choices that prioritize children’s emotional well-being.
Krista walks through each resolution, offering concrete examples and strategies that parents can realistically implement. From stopping negative talk about the co-parent to creating calmer transitions, supporting consistency across households, and practicing flexibility, each resolution is designed to empower parents to show up differently for their kids. She also stresses the importance of processing personal emotional pain, seeking support through therapy or co-parenting classes, and modeling accountability through apologies and repair when mistakes happen.
By committing to even one resolution, parents can create meaningful ripple effects that positively shape their children’s experiences, emotional security, and development, proving that small, intentional actions often matter more than sweeping changes.
In this episode, you will hear:
Stop speaking negatively about your co-parent and model emotional regulation
Keep children out of adult conflicts and communication loops
Pause before responding to reduce reactive conflict
Support your child’s relationship with the other parent
Make transitions calmer and more predictable
Prioritize your own emotional health and seek support if needed
Aim for consistency in routines, school expectations, and household rules
Apologize and repair when mistakes happen
Practice flexibility and prioritize what serves your child best
Resources from this Episode
www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

064: Divorce Coaching Explained: A Child-Centered Tool Parents Don’t Know They Need with Tracy Callahan

Divorce often pushes parents into survival mode. Legal strategy and emotional overwhelm take center stage, while children absorb the fallout quietly and deeply.
In this episode of the Children First Family Law®️ podcast, Krista explores a powerful but often misunderstood resource that helps parents navigate divorce more intentionally: divorce coaching.
Krista sits down with Tracy Callahan, co-founder of the Divorce Coaches Academy, certified divorce coach, and family mediator licensed in Florida and New York. Tracy brings decades of experience in alternative dispute resolution and a deeply child-centered lens shaped by both professional practice and personal parenting experience. Krista and Tracy unpack what divorce coaching actually is and, just as importantly, what it is not.
The conversation reframes divorce coaching as a future-focused, action-oriented form of dispute resolution rather than therapy or advocacy warfare. Tracy explains how divorce coaching helps parents regulate emotions, understand conflict dynamics, and develop communication skills that reduce escalation and protect children from being caught in the middle. Rather than reliving the past, divorce coaching emphasizes intentional decision-making, personal accountability, and preparing parents to participate more effectively in mediation, settlement discussions, and co-parenting.
Krista and Tracy also address common misconceptions, including the belief that divorce coaches exist to help parents “fight harder.” In reality, the work centers on minimizing emotional and financial damage, supporting conversations that matter, and helping parents shift from positional thinking to child-focused problem solving. They highlight how unmanaged conflict—not divorce itself—creates lasting harm for children, often with generational consequences.
Tracy shares insight into how divorce coaching complements legal representation, saves time and money, and helps parents stop using attorneys and courts as emotional outlets. The episode offers clarity for parents, professionals, and anyone working in family law who wants better outcomes for children navigating two homes.
In this episode, you will hear:
Divorce coaching as a child-centered dispute resolution tool
Clear distinctions between divorce coaching, therapy, and legal advocacy
The impact of unresolved parental conflict on children
Emotional regulation as a foundation for effective co-parenting
Future-focused decision-making during divorce
Support divorce coaching provides in mediation and legal processes
Shifting away from win–lose thinking toward family stability
Resources from this Episode
www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
www.mediating-matters.com
www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

063: Co-Parenting Over the Holidays, with Dr. Marlene Bizub

The holidays can bring joy, excitement, and meaningful traditions, but for separated and divorced families, they can also amplify stress, conflict, and emotional overload.
In this episode of the Children First Family Law®️ podcast, Krista explores how parents can navigate holiday schedules, shifting expectations, new traditions, and blended-family dynamics in a way that truly protects children’s emotional well-being. Dr. Marlene Bizub draws on nearly three decades of working with court-involved families to unpack why the season feels so intense and what parents can do differently to create calmer, healthier holidays.
Dr. Bizub and Krista talk through the issues that emerge every December, from split-day disasters to extended-family tensions, gift-giving challenges, travel disruptions, and the grief children often feel beneath the surface. Dr. Bizub offers practical strategies parents can act on right now, along with long-term guidance on flexibility, communication, and taking the high road. Whether you’re newly separated or years into co-parenting, this episode provides grounded, child-centered guidance for navigating the holidays more peacefully.
Dr. Marlene Bizub, a longtime psychologist working with court-involved families, shares her expertise on creating healthy traditions, supporting children through grief, and setting realistic expectations during the holidays. She highlights what children genuinely need, how parents can avoid emotional pitfalls, and why kindness creates lasting goodwill.
This episode reminds parents that even small changes in approach can transform the holidays for their children and for themselves.
In this episode, you will hear:
Emotional pressures that intensify holidays for co-parents
The shift from rigid expectations to child-centered planning
Why avoiding split-day celebrations smooths the season for kids
Fresh ideas for building new, meaningful traditions
Approaches that help blended families adjust at their own pace
Thoughts on birthdays, gift-giving, and extended-family involvement
Flexibility strategies for travel delays, illness, and disrupted plans
How generosity and cooperation create long-term goodwill
Nonverbal communication patterns that shape a child’s experience
Ways parents can find support and care for themselves during the holidays
Resources from this Episode
www.amazon.com/Contentious-Custody-Really-Interest-Children/dp/1941870724
open.spotify.com/show/4LJ9Ey2LemBeXfkh4wNauv
www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

062: Top Reasons Parents Lose Custody in Colorado — And How to Protect Your Parenting Time

In this episode of the Children First Family Law®️ podcast, Krista breaks down the leading reasons parents lose custody or experience restrictions on parenting time in Colorado.
Drawing on her work as a child advocate and family law attorney, Krista explains how judges evaluate safety, stability, mental health, and co-parenting behaviors when deciding on parental responsibilities. She also reminds listeners that “losing custody” in Colorado rarely means a permanent loss of parental rights. Instead, it typically reflects temporary limits tied to a child’s best interests.
Krista walks through the three most common categories that lead courts to restrict parenting time—safety concerns, parental unfitness or instability, and damaging co-parenting behavior. She illustrates each category with case patterns she has seen repeatedly in child advocacy work, including emotional abuse, unmanaged mental health issues, and behavior that undermines the child’s relationship with the other parent. She emphasizes that Colorado courts prioritize the child’s emotional and physical safety above all else, and that parents who take proactive steps, such as treatment, stable routines, and appropriate communication, can protect or rebuild their parenting time.
For parents, professionals, and supporters, this episode serves as a clear and practical guide to navigating Colorado custody cases while centering children’s well-being.
In this episode, you will hear:
Safety issues that lead judges to restrict parenting time
Behaviors that courts view as instability or parental unfitness
Patterns of harmful co-parenting that damage custody outcomes
Practical steps parents can take to protect and rebuild time with their children
Resources from this Episode
www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 
Follow and Review:
We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

061: Divorce & Money: Why it Matters for Kids, with Divorce Finance Expert, Todd Huetner

In this episode of the Children First Family Law® podcast, Krista opens the first installment of a recurring series on divorce and money, an area she rarely tackles but one that powerfully shapes children’s lives. To launch the series, she welcomes Colorado-based mortgage and divorce finance expert Todd Huetner, known nationally as the “divorce CFO.” With more than two decades of experience in lending, divorce finance, and collaborative family law, Todd guides families and professionals through the financial realities of housing decisions during separation and divorce.
Krista frames the conversation around a simple truth: housing stability profoundly influences children’s well-being. Whether parents keep the home, sell it, or relocate, financial planning directly affects where children sleep, how often they move, and whether parents can sustainably maintain two households. Todd explains that families often wait too long to explore housing options, which can limit choices, increase stress, and lead to preventable long-term consequences. Beginning early gives parents time to identify credit issues, gather documentation, understand real options, and reduce the fear that comes from not knowing what lies ahead.
Todd breaks down five common types of income that affect the ability to assume or refinance a mortgage in divorce: earned income, retirement/investment income, court-ordered support, co-signers, and creative trust structures. He explains how temporary maintenance, even at a very low amount, can start critical qualification timelines. He also addresses widespread misconceptions, such as the belief that a loan cannot be assumed, taking advice from lenders who provide incomplete information, and assuming a disadvantaged spouse cannot qualify for a mortgage. Many families unknowingly leave life-changing opportunities on the table.
Krista and Todd also discuss the real impact of relocation. When a parent cannot afford to remain in a community, the resulting move can disrupt children’s support systems, educational stability, and relationship with the other parent. Todd notes that short-term strategies, like staying in the home for a limited period, delaying a move, or restructuring assets creatively, can preserve options while reducing the likelihood of multiple relocations.
In the second half of the conversation, Todd turns to professionals—attorneys, mediators, and mental health experts—who often unintentionally limit their clients’ options by relying on assumptions or failing to understand how mortgage underwriting works. He emphasizes the importance of early consultation, correct terminology, precise drafting in separation agreements, and asking the right questions rather than the most obvious ones. A small oversight can cost a family tens of thousands of dollars or eliminate the possibility of homeownership entirely.
This episode gives parents and professionals a roadmap to approaching financial and housing decisions with clarity, creativity, and an eye toward children’s long-term stability.
In this episode, you will hear:
Early steps that expand housing options during divorce
Types of income lenders can (and can’t) use during mortgage qualification
Hidden pitfalls in assumptions, refinancing, and temporary maintenance
How relocation pressures affect children when housing decisions go wrong
Resources from this Episode
www.thedivorcecfo.com
denverdivorceprofessionals.com
www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com
All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 
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Episode Credits
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.